Dealing with Burnout
I painted every day this year until I hit burnout. Just a few weeks ago, I was beading and painting every day, I never would have guessed that in such a short period of time my lifestyle would change so dramatically. In the last few weeks, my mobility and energy have been severely impacted by the change in seasons.
This time of year is tough on many people, including those with SAD, migraines and autoimmune conditions. I have rheumatoid arthritis in over 40 joints. I’ve recently been struggling with hard days, days where I can’t move for the first 90 minutes. As my body is stiff with pain, panic sets in and I sometimes cry from the shock of it. I’ve been using energy conservation as a tool to plan each day as it comes. Sometimes though the reality is that I do not have enough energy to “conserve” for what’s needed. I’ve been asking for help on all sorts of tasks and my weekends are spent sleeping and recovering from the past work week so I can make it through the next work week.
It’s discouraging when you hit a wall, not from lack of inspiration or trying but from a lack of physical energy stores. In some of my previous posts, I wrote about how to handle a flare and using art to stay positive. Today, I’d like to share how to handle the overwhelm of a bad day. This is not medical advice but a letter from a friend. I know what it’s like when you wake up in so much pain you can’t move. This is my letter to you to read for a hard day.
Dear Friend,
Close your eyes for me and take a deep belly breath through your nostrils. Feel your stomach rise and fall with your breath.
This was not the day you were expecting. You didn’t ask for it. You don’t “deserve” it.
You’re only job today is taking care of you. That is no small task. Know that you are up for it, even though it may not feel like it in this moment. Use as many coping strategies as necessary, there is no “limit” to how many strategies may help or relieve stress.
What is one small, kind act you can do for yourself in this moment? What is one small task you can ask for help on? What is one small task you can forget about completely and forgive yourself for letting go of?
Accepting that reality is not as we planned or expected, is the first step to finding peace.
Imagine yourself as a crab caught in high waves on a beach. Each push and pull of the water pushes at your shell, your arms and legs creaking with each movement. Just like a little crustacean caught in the surf, we are caught in an energetic surf. What if instead of fighting the current, we let it carry us?
We’re going to get through this. We’ve gotten through every hard day up until now. A wise friend once told me, “Don’t measure your whole life on a bad day.”
We wouldn’t be told to “remember” if we weren’t prone to forget. Remember that you are capable. Remember that you are worthy and deserve love, safety and peace.
My wish is that this letter provides you a moment of solace. When times are dark, I look for moments of solace, as if peace is a throughway and not a destination. 5 minutes of peace provides me the refuge I need to keep going for 20 more minutes, then another 2 minutes of solace may carry me through until the evening. I look for solace around every corner; I’m pleasantly surprised when it finds me first.
Know that you are not alone is this heaviness. Know that the weight is not yours alone to bear.
In Solidarity, your friend,
C.F.